Rambling

We only get one life. It is composed of these seconds and minutes we race through or cherish. It's really hard. It's difficult for me to work out. I don't want to waste a minute. But what counts as waste, and what counts as something you just have to get done because life isn't just about having fun, but about responsibility. I guess some people would argue that you can't make every second meaningful. And what is meaningful anyways? I love the time I spend sitting next to Patrick while he plays Oblivion and I ask him questions (because I want to figure out my own course of action in the game) and he answers so patiently while he's trying to fight off morts, which stresses me out. Are we wasting time? Maybe. But I just love being with him, and I know playing these games is a way of relaxing for him. And if I can share that relaxation time, I'm there.

I guess part of determining the meaningfulness of a moment is figuring out what your endgame is. Being close to my husband and spending time with him is important to me. Thus our meaningful computer game moments.

But what about in jobs? I sit at this desk all day wondering if what I do counts. Or if I'm working against what I believe. In that case, I should go! But, I don't know where to go next. And part of life is responsibility - and I need to work to stay busy and to help us reach our goals.

Rambling.

Dancing in the Rain on Sunny Days; Part 8

Or you could actually dance. That is fully acceptable and I think it would be awesome for someone to come in and, with some amount of joy in their heart, give you some terrible news. (You've just been laid off, downsized. Your dog was just taken by the pound. Your kid was caught at school making a pipe bomb.) And you look that mean little person in the eye, and you stand up, still looking them in the eye, and start dancing. You could feel joy in the movement and the act of defiance against all rain, and that person would be confused, but you would be dancing. (You may even start a dance revolution in your workplace.) Which really does make everything better. Literal and figurative dancing. Also, the pirate koala agrees. So do the sticky notes-- because I've decided they do have feelings. And their feelings on this subject are agreement.

Dancing in the Rain on Sunny Days; Part 7

In the end, though, what is the point? What is the point of all of this? All of the beauty and freedom and musings are all for nothing if the final conclusion doesn't affirm or change or edify anything inside of you. That doesn't mean the product isn't nice, or funny or that it should be shunned for all time. It just means it is without meaning. Or substance. Your takeaway from something meaningless should just be a good feeling or, you know, maybe even a bad feeling, but it will be something that fades because it meant nothing. But what is really important is creating something that will give someone else something worth keeping. What is my point? What is the point of all this typing and the strain I feel, strangely enough, in my forearms? It is to dance in the rain on sunny days. That doesn't mean anything, does it? But it gives you something to think about. I guess what I mean is this: You can be having a truly fantastic day. Sunny through and through- and then something terrible happens. A deal breaker. Day-ruiner. A great big crap on the lawn of your happiness. Joy-killer. It's the rain. It's come for you. What are you going to do about it? I submit- dance. Dance in this rain. It's YOUR sunny day and never let the rain ruin it. Take it. Take that bad situation and make it yours. Revel in something small- that normally would never even make you smile, but that is pretty cool. Let it overwhelm you and grace your day. Be happy because you know that it is your choice. Look at those sticky notes and make them your dance in the rain of your sunny day. Don't forget that that it is only with the combination of sunny and rain that rainbows happen- and that they are a promise.

Dancing in the Rain on Sunny Days: Part 6

I think one of the reasons I love these sticky notes so much is that I love to write and type; I really do; and these feel so non-committal- I don't have to be preparing to write a DOCUMENT to type on one of these. I just want to have to scrawl a few thoughts, the meandering kind, and then I can go on with my business. There's no spellcheck. This thing doesn't care what sort of punctuation I choose. It's never going to pop up an annoying little tap that is "kindly" "suggesting" that I have, perhaps without even knowing it, committed the gravest of errors- the making of a sentence fragment. I don't even feel like I particularly need to save these. It's a fantastic sort of freedom. I think it's the kind of freedom we have all been looking for our entire lives. The freedom to just be and move on. The freedom to think without fear of consequences, without fear of a red squiggly line, or perhaps a green one. That alone makes these sticky notes a worthwhile venture. For any poetic mind that resents the square structures of prose being imposed upon it without its consent.
Thank you, sticky notes, thank you.

Dancing in the Rain on Sunny Days; Part 5

Maybe I should clarify my situation. These sticky notes I'm referring to are a program that allows you to put electronic sticky notes on your computer desktop. You can write anything you want on them -- as I feel that I have been aptly demonstrating all morning. They are fantastic. They are as fly as normal sticky notes, but you aren't wasting paper, and they can be right up on your computer desktop and you can minimize them or not as you prefer- if you put a normal sticky note on your computer screen, you wouldn't be able to see whatever else you were doing. Annoying. Hence the awesome.

Dancing in the Rain on Sunny Days: Part 4

These sticky notes are a big distraction. I'm already ADD enough in trainings and mettings, but these stick notes are exacerbating an existing problem. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe there's something I can do to fight this menace. The problem is... I don't really want to. I don't want to fight. My love for these sticky notes is just too strong. Isn't it morally wrong to fight love? Because if you're fighting love, you must be allied with the opposite of love, which is hatred and evil, and God knows that I don't want to be allied with those. So how can I resist these friendly and fantastic sticky notes? How can I stand aside and let them be lonely? and unused? and unloved? I can't be a part of that cycle. I'm breaking it. Today.

Dancing in the Rain on Sunny Days: Part 3

Sticky notes- omg! You can make them any sort of rectangular shape that you want! I always have to stop and think about rectangles versus squares. A square can be a rectangle, basedon the definition of the word rectangle, but a rectangle can never be a square-- even if it really wants to. Even if its parents tell it that it can be anything it wants to be when it grows up-- never. Although maybe it could be possible in its wildest dreams because offttimes dreams do not hold with any kind of logic, or principles of physics. Definitions probably don't matter to dreams either. So... dream away, rectangle. You go.