Ocean, Light, and Anywhere Else.

Barefoot, I step toward the sound it makes. Water rushes forward to meet me and I almost turn back around, swayed by the sudden headache from the cold. Walk in slowly, letting the waves hit my body slowly higher and higher, basking in the difference between their frigidity and the sunlight on my still-dry hair. And then there's finally the moment where I can't take any more of this slow stuff and dive under the next wave, headfirst, sinuously weaving my body under the surface and above the sand. Coming up at the end of breath just feels natural; it's almost as if the water is helping me to do it. Back in the sunlit world, I see giant coastal birds are flying so close to the curling waves, it seems that they are surfing them.

The salt water burns my throat and stings my eyes and the sand in the wax on the board scratches my knees and the board doesn't have any fins, so I know I'm guaranteed not only pain, but fail as well. None of this changes my mind. Because, able to stand or not, there is nothing like riding the waves. To start out, trying to stand on your own two feet, buffetted by enormous waves so much stronger than you, tired- and then to grab that board, pull yourself on and paddle at the right moment, and conquer what was just attacking you- nothing compares. Laughing with your best friend as the waves topple you, time and time again, but still chasing down that feeling- still free.

I'm going to miss the light of home. There is something different about it that I can't name. But it draws me in, entices me, leaves me breathless and somewhere in the past. Sitting in the light of dusk, I can feel other summers I've known, other twilights with other people, other emotions. I sit and drink it in, restlessly comfortable, if that is possible. Missing faces, experiences, but gloriously aware of the present and the opportunities of the future.

Aware that my past, present, and future are all in the hands of a loving God- who is more powerful and awesome than I can begin to understand- but who, all the same, has woven my life into His plan. Whether I'm in my hometown, Michigan, or anywhere else.