It's past midnight, Michigan time. I'm listening to Sara Evans and we're on Severe Thunderstorm watch. I've got my eyes open. In more ways than one, I guess.
I think usually the times when we're most lost are those when we think we know what's going on. I don't think it can ever really be pounded into our heads enough that God's ways aren't our ways and we can never really comprehend the vastness of His plan.
I feel that recently I've cursed the fall more than usual. More than is probably healthy. Cursed the wickedness that is ingrained in me. Fretted about how amazingly difficult it is to do what I should. Wondered about the future and what it holds. Worried about how God will use me in the scheme of things to make His plan come about. Worried?! Why not felt the honor of the fact that God would possibly want to do that. Frail and fallible, but never forgotten.
And God still has Romans as an integral part of my life- so I know what to look out for at least... He sure makes some patterns abundantly clear.
I guess I'm just nervous because I believe everything that happens has reason behind it. There are no coincidences- no things that just happen. So, that should mean that my every tiny little action has an effect- what is that effect? Am I affecting people for good or for ill.
I pray so hard that it's for the good. That I don't mislead people- that somehow, by the grace of God, my life reflects the infinite mercy He has bestowed upon me, and the gift of joy and peace that has come from it.
"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." Jude 24, 25.
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